1 Comment to “Good Riddance 2013”

  1. Holly

    Jan 3rd, 2014

    Eric, I’m so sorry for all the loses you went through in 2013. You definitely had a epically hard year. I’m glad you are starting to feel better.
    I know grief can be a really hard thing to go through and often even close friends and family don’t understand what you feel.
    But, there IS light at the end of that dark tunnel – I say that from experience.
    When I was 21 years old (I’m 46 now) my very best childhood friend, whom I’d grown up with and thought we’d one day be two old ladies with grey hair in rocking chairs on a porch) died after open heart surgery to replace a damaged heart valve. She was 3 months short of her 21st birthday.
    I was a junior in college and I was completely devastated by her death. I still don’t know how I got through finals (she died in june,just before end of the college year).
    The following year was the toughest of my life – I stupidly told myself that if I was still grieving a year later I’d get help. Mistake. I could have avoided so much extra internal pain if I’d talked with someone about what I was going through.
    By November I just wanted to die – the only thing that kept me alive was that I knew my parents would never understand what had happened. But even that was becoming thin. I used to go sit by her grave every day for an hour or two – just to know where she was and to feel close still to her. I was really messed up that year. I had a week that November that was so painful, I was so at the end of my rope, that afterwards I couldn’t fully remember or describe the pain – all I can say of that week was that it was the WORST.
    But after that – slowly things started to get better.
    By the next June I felt like I’d washed up on a grey, cold beach – I was alive still and I knew I was going to live. Life wasn’t exciting or colorful yest – but it would be. I was going to survive. Through it, only some stubborn kind of will or blind belief that some day, something will feel better, and my belief in God, had kept me going.
    Shortly after that I met the man who’d be my first husband, and life picked up and went on. There has been ups and downs since then, for sure (I’m now very happily married to my second husband). But 25 years later now, I look back on Elaine’s death and the grief I went through, and I know now that even that terrible thing had a reason, put me on the path to where I am (happy) now, and definitely helped me know how strong inside I actually am.
    That said, I hope now bright things and many new happy times are ahead for you, and the strength you’ve gained from your hard experiences will help you and help others too.


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