The Way of .Net – A Parody Song for Southwest Fox

A couple of weeks ago Tuvia Vinitsky shot me a copy of a parody song he wrote and wanted to perform at the Southwest Fox conference. “Hey,” I thought, “we used to do a lot of parody songs back in high school. [Sorry, Big Smitty] I could totally do this.” So I took a few minutes and cranked out what you see below. Last night Tuvia performed his song, and it was great. Anyone have video? It was a big booming number that held the room rapt – a number called “Bad, Bad Billy G”. Unfortunately my song and my voice are made for quieter spaces so it’s unlikely it’ll see the light of day so I’m just going to post it here so all my hard hard work (10 minutes tops, and it shows) isn’t completely wasted. It’s to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel’s “The Sound of Silence” and it goes like this:

Hello FoxPro my old friend
I’ve come to code with you again
Because a framework slowly creeping
Left its bits while I was sleeping
And the  version that was planted on my disk
Caused it fits
But that’s the way of .Net
In user groups I heard the hype
Of the new dynamic types
‘Neath the halo of the Silverlight
I took a month to make a demo site
Then my eyes were grabbed by the flash of the latest hype
I spent twelve nights
And learned the latest .Net
And at the conference I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People coding without speaking
People typing without thinking
People writing apps that the app store soon would share
And no one dared
Question the hype of .Net“
Fools,” said I “You do not know
.Net like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you.
Read my blog that I might reach you.”
But my plea, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
in the swell of .Net
And the people bowed and prayed
To the bloated apps they made
Until the sign flashed out its warning
In a messagebox that was forming
And the sign said, “The RAM on this PC has hitten the proverbial wall.”
So I closed all.
And curs’d the bane of .Net






Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.