Eric’s Completely Unironic Best Practices for Password Management

Based on Real World Examples I’ve Seen. Seriously.

  • Write your passwords on post-its and leave them on your monitor.
  • Share your passwords with everyone on your commute. Then if you forget you can ask almost anybody and they can remind you.
  • Use your firstborn’s entire first name, not just their nickname, as your password.
  • Use the same password for everything. That way if any password gets hacked I know it’s time to change them all.
  • When it comes time to change your password, just increment the number at the end.
  • Consider writing “Not My Passwords” on the notebook you use to keep your passwords. Also, Excel can also be used as a password manager, but again don’t name the file “Passwords.xlsx”.
  • Look around your desk. Any random word you see can be your password. This is what the “hackers” will expect.
  • Don’t use a password manager. Though they’re professionals in encryption it’s probably not secure, really. Also password managers are hard. Why bother? You’re probably going to have this browser on this computer forever so just use the built-in one.
  • Two-Factor Authentication will interrupt my Candy Crush game.

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